Peer Review - Feedback

        In small groups (I was with two Illustration students) we were given the opportunity to briefly present our work, both the written proposal and our visual development thus far, and ask questions which will help us further develop our responses.

The questions which I had, and required feedback on were as follows:

1. What balance of positive to negative story would be the most effective? The group thought that the contrast between the two moods/tones would be an effective way of evoking an emotional response from fathers/adult audiences, but that the story should end on a positive and hopeful, rather than down-hearted and pessimistic note. They felt that this would be a better way of encouraging lasting change.
2. Do you think positioning the animation as a story that is being read, with a narrative voice over, is a good direction to head in? They thought that this idea had potential for encouraging parents to read to their children, particularly in relation to the next question... 
3. If the animation does have a narrative voice over, would it be more effective if it were made by the father or the child? I liked the group's suggestion of having the child read the majority of the voice over, with the dad occasionally stepping in to help with some of the larger, trickier words.
4. What in your opinion are some widely known/enduring stories or illustrations which I could use, to place the aspirational child in? Charles Dickens, Quentin Blake, The Hungry Caterpillar, Alice in Wonderland, The Tiger Who Came To Tea, Guess How Much I Love You...the list is endless. The conclusion that we came to was that the most important factor is using styles with enduring appeal, which won't irritate of alienate the target audience of fathers.
5. Charity campaigns often have a fair amount of screen text (statistics etc.). Do you think that this is necessary, or reduce the information to the core message of '10 minutes per day...'? The group felt that it was a better strategy to encourage, rather than shamelessly guilt trip parents by forcing endless statistics down their throats. Having being exposed to various charity campaigns we can say that this tactic is often off-putting and disengaging, and in this case would interrupt the narrative and emotional impact. Any statistics could be included in the voice over, or blended into the scenery, i.e. on bill boards or posters in the storyboard.

        This session was helpful, and I received some useful feedback which I can definitely incorporate into my work. It was also encouraging to see the positive reactions which my initial ideas received from people I am unfamiliar with. This has given me confidence that I am working along the right tracks.

        Something which I need to look into however is the project pack. I had glanced at it briefly, but need to take greater consideration of the prescribed colour schemes, logos which must be included and designated fonts before taking my work any further.

        One final note. Since this session, I have had a change of heart regarding the narrative of my storyboard. Rather than have two separate protagonists (one who is and one who isn't read to by their father) I have decided to focus on just one boy. Initially, he will struggle to read and wistfully long to be like his classmates, but once his father begins to read to him, his prospects brighten. I felt that it would be more uplifting, to show a child escaping his illiteracy, rather than my more pessimistic first draft, which lacked a positive outcome for the 'bad' reader.